brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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