Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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