im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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