so that wasnt chicken after all
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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