I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
