pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
