YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
