you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
