Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
3 2 1 whiskey
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
