I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
