I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
