oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish i was in the wii world.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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