six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
