If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
