you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My vagina just recognized that song.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
