I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
