I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The adults are the big ones right?
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