please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
