hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
