So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
