Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i think my cat just said my name.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
