Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
