She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
