Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
