shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
