I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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