i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
