Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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