His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i believe in u and ur pee
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
