If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
