you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
