FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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