haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You work out of a Hotel?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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