yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
