It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
