am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
how does that bad decision feel?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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