somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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