Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
