If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
