what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
