Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
