ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
