I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
