Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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