he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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