we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
