Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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