so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
