nut hugger
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am naked and annoyed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
