You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
