We named our party play list daddy issues
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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