'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize