she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Bring me that man meat
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
