ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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