My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
