think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
