just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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