Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
