My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
operation have a gay friend backfired
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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