when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
