Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
