it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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