This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
