what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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